The Healing Power of Forgiveness
by Larry Mitchell - July/August 2010 , SHARING Magazine
An ancient philosopher once said: “If you devote your life to seeking revenge, first dig two graves one for the person you are angry with and one for yourself.” In order to avoid that outcome it is logical to make the decision to forgive. Forgiveness is healing, but before we can experience the healing that comes from forgiveness we must want to be healed of past hurts by forgiving the person who has caused those hurts.
Some of the hurts that people suffer in life are so terrible that in a lifetime they might never come to the point of wanting to forgive the person who has wronged them, but not to take that step will invariably keep them bound to the hurt and to the person who has caused that hurt. In order for healing to take place we must come to the realization that the only way to be set free and to receive healing is to make the decision to forgive even when everything inside us screams, “No, I want revenge. Our first and natural response is that we want the person who has hurt us to suffer just as much as we suffered. Unfortunately that never results in peace of mind and freedom from the hurt. What happens is that the more we work at getting revenge the more miserable and bitter we become and our willingness or inability to forgive makes us a bitter person. The only way that we can set ourselves free from bitterness is to make the decision to forgive.
In coming to that decision it is helpful to understand that forgiveness is not about condoning a person’s actions or disregarding a wrong or a hurt, or saying that what the person did was OK. It is about taking control of our own anger, bitterness and hurt in order to set ourselves free to live. It is about coming to terms with our past so that we can achieve a peace of mind that will enable us to live effectively in the present and move on into out future no longer controlled by the actions of others. It is through the power of forgiveness that we free ourselves from bondage to our hurt and pain.
We might have difficulty with forgiveness if we think that we have to feel like forgiving before we can forgive. In reality forgiveness is a matter of choice, that is, we choose to forgive because we realize that it is the only way for us to return to health and wholeness. This is not easy but choosing to forgive may be the only way to regain our peace of mind and freedom of spirit. How therefore, do we bring God’s healing power of forgiveness into the hurt and pain of our lives?
First, we must be willing to acknowledge that we have a problem with un-forgiveness or guilt and as a result of that our lives have become crippled resulting in a paralysis in our relationships with ourselves, with others and with God. Second, we must make the decision that we no longer wish to continue to live under the power of these hurts. Third, it involves making personal choice to live in the light of God’s peace and love.
Sometimes we allow the hurts of our lives to be pushed down deep into our subconscious memories so that we hardly think about them. In fact they may even be considered forgotten. The reality of the situation however, if our hurts have not been dealt with through the healing power of forgiveness or through the healing of memories they will continue to affect our lives in some way or other.
The only way we can prevent those hurts controlling or influencing us is to render them powerless by being willing to forgive. This allows us to be healed and it offers an opportunity of hope and healing to the person who has hurt us. When that is done, even if the influence of that hurt can still affect us, the power of that hurt is immediately destroyed.
I leave you with this thought to ponder: un-forgiveness, bitterness, resentment, and anger are like four walls of a prison cell. Forgiveness is the key that opens the door of that cell and sets us free, giving us a new hope and a renewed purpose to live. The glory of the Christian life is that because Jesus died on the cross to set us free we do not have to live in bondage to un-forgiveness and guilt. What we do have to do is to make the choice to accept what Jesus accomplished for us on the cross. May the power of God’s forgiving love bring you the gift of freedom and a new life!
In Christ’s Healing Love,
Larry Mitchell
Sharing A Journal of Christian Healing. July/ August 2010